The Great Charlie Rescue
by The Jonny T Factor
Summary: Charlie the Unicorn has been kidnapped, and now the other unicorns have asked for the help of the Nostalgia Critic. Will they be able to save Charlie? Prepare for randomness. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, The Jonny T Factor here, and you know, I felt like writing something completely random. And what else could be more random than the Nostalgia Critic and Charlie the Unicorn. Well, I thought the two should come together. I hope you enjoy this completely random story.**

**I do not own the Nostalgia Critic, Charlie the Unicorn, or any other web series listed.**

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We open to the Nostalgia Critic sitting in the middle of the room.

"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic." the Critic introduces himself, "I remember it so you don't have to. You know, I've put this off long enough. A lot of the viewers have requested it for so long. Well, guess what. I'm gonna review it. I'm going to review the wrost movie I've ever seen. But I want you to know, I'm taking a huge risk by doing this. My doctors have informed me that if I do this, I will most likely become brain dead. So, let's dig into this piece of shit movie! Let's dig into..."

_"Critic..." _a fainted voice calls out. The Critic stops and looks around the room, but found nothing.

"The fuck was that?" the Critic questions, confused, "Oh well. Let's dig into..."

_"Critic..." _another fainted voice calls. The Critic looks around again, but there still was nothing.

"Hello?" the Critic calls out, but there still was no answer, "Okaaay... let's dig into..."

A flash blinds the Critic the camera turns to see two animated unicorns. One of them was light pink and the other one was light blue.

"CRITIC!" the blue unicorn yells.

"JESUS!" the Critic screams in surprise.

"Critic, you must come with us to save Charlie!" the pink unicorn states.

"Wait, aren't you those two unicorns from those videos on Youtube?" the Critic questions.

"Yes, Critic." the pink unicorn answers.

"I don't remember dropping Acid today." the Critic says to himself, wondering.

"We come from the world of Youtube and Filmcow." the blue unicorn explains.

"And Filmcow?" the Critic questions, confused.

"Yes, our creator has us located on two sites." the pink unicorn informs.

"Oh, well, what are you guys doing here?" the Critic questions.

"We need your help to save Charlie!" the pink unicorn answers.

"He's been kidnapped!" the blue unicorn adds, "Sparkle, spark, sparkle!" The blue unicorn starts to float in the air, then returns back to the ground. The Critic watches with wide eyes.

"We need your help!" the pink unicorn repeats.

"How am I suppost to help?" the Critic questions.

"We need your awesome power of criticism!" the blue unicorn answers, "For only a critic is strong enough to save Charlie!"

"I can give you a gun." the Critic informs, holding out his handgun, "Will that work?"

"Silly Critic." the blue unicorn replies, "No firearm can defeat the great evil that has taken Charlie."

"A gun won't work, but a guy who just reviews old cartoons and movies will." the Critic says, nodding, "ROB! Have you been drugging my coffee again?"

"We must go, Critic!" the pink unicorn states, holding up some kind of remote. It presses the button on it and all three of them are teleported away.

All of a sudden, the three appear in another universe. The Critic opens his eyes, only to find himself in a kitchen.

"Where the hell are we?" the Critic questions, "This doesn't look like the setting in your videos."

"It isn't." one of the unicorns replies. The Critic looks over to see that the unicorns were in real life form.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" the Critic screams, "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"We must have come to a different universe!" the blue unicorn informs.

"But why are you real?" the Critic questions, "You weren't real in my universe!"

"In your universe, cartoons are real too." the pink unicorn informs, "In this universe they aren't. Look at you, Critic. You're not even human." The Critic looks down to find that he is a carrot.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the Critic screams in girly voice.

"Wow, I've never seen a screaming carrot before, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!" states a annoying voice. The Critic looks over to find a horrible sight.

"OH NO, WE'RE IN THE ANNOYING ORANGE VIDEOS!" the Critic yells in horror.

"I have my own videos?" Orange questions, "Cool! Hi, Me! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!"

"We have to get out of here!" the Critic states.

"I like this universe." the pink unicorn informs.

"Yeah, let's stay longer." the blue unicorn agrees.

"KNIFE!" the Critic yells.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" the two unicorns scream. The pink unicorn presses the button on the remote again. The three teleport away.

"Hey, Knife isn't here!" Orange states, "Oh well. Screaming carrot, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!"

The three appear in other universe. The Critic was now a blue figure, with no facial features. He still had his facial hair, his shirt, his coat, his tie, and his hat. The unicorns were now plastic.

"Where are we now?" the Critic questions.

"We're in Klay World, Critic!" the blue unicorn answers, "A magical world of happiness and wonder!" The Critic looks over to see two more blue figures.

"I'm a murderer!" one figure yells, then pulls out a gun and shoots the other.

"We're gone!" the Critic states, grabbing the remote and pressing another button. The three teleport away.

The three appear in a black pitch black room.

"Did I do something wrong?" the Critic questions, "Why is it so dark?" The lights flip on, revealing Rick Astley behind them.

"We're no strangers to love!" Rick Astley sings.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" all three of them scream. The Critic presses the button again. The three teleport away.

The three appear in a animated world. The Critic was now animated.

"We're here!" the blue unicorn states.

"You know, I always wanted to be a cartoon." the Critic informs.

"There's no time!" the pink unicorn replies, "We have to save Charlie!"

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**Hope you liked the first chapter. Please Review. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The next chapter of The Great Charlie Rescue. Sorry it took so long.**

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The Nostalgia Critic and the two unicorns walk through a forest, searching for Charlie.

"So... never really got your names." the Critic informs.

"Silly Critic, we do not have names." the blue unicorn replies.

"Our creator did not give us them." the pink unicorn adds.

"... Why the fuck not?" the Critic questions.

"Unknown." the blue unicorn answers.

"Unknown." the pink unicorn repeats.

"Unknnnnooooown." the blue unicorn repeats. The Critic sighs.

"Well... what gender are you guys?" the Critic questions.

"Unknown." the pink unicorn answers.

"Only the Creator knows." the blue unicorn adds.

"The all powerful Creator." the pink unicorn says.

"Praise the Creator." the blue unicorn states. The Critic is silent for a moment.

"Okay... I'm just gonna call you guys Blue and Pinkie." the Critic informs.

"I wish to be called Chocolate Thunder." Pinkie says.

"And I 'Sham-Sham: Destroyer of Worlds'." Blue adds. The Critic wears a serious look on his face.

"Blue and Pinkie it is." the Critic states. They wonder through the forest for a few minutes longer, when a thought comes to the Critic's mind. "Where are we going?" the Critic questions.

"We're searching for Charlie." Pinkie reminds.

"Do you guys have any idea where he..." the Critic tries to question.

"Silence, Critic!" Blue orders, "We are in the presences of Joey: the wise and mighty chipmunk!" The Critic looks down to see a little chipmunk on the ground in front of them. It was eating an acorn.

"Aaw, how cute." the Critic comments. The chipmunk looks up at them.

**"Who dares bother Joey: the wise and mighty chipmunk?" **a deep, demonic sounding voice comes from the chipmunk.

"JESUS FUCK!" the Critic yells in shock.

"Oh great Joey, we have come to ask you for help." Blue informs, "Charlie the unicorn has been kidnapped!"

**"I KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE!"** Joey states. The Critic looks in utter shock. **"The unicorn know as Charlie has been taken by a great evil!"**

"You mean..." the Critic gasps.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Joey yells, **"An evil even greater than Tommy Wiseau! The evil ruler hides in the Castle of Bad Things! Along with your friend!"**

"Of course, the Castle of Bad Things!" Pinkie says.

"How could we have been so foolish?" Blue adds.

**"NOW BE GONE!" **Joey orders. All of a sudden, Joey bursts into flames, then disappears.

"We must go!" Blue states.

"Joey has spoken!" Pinkie adds. The Critic just stands in silence for a few moments.

"Did we just talk to a demon?" the Critic questions.

"Come, Critic, we must find Charlie!" Pinkie says.

"We're coming Charlie!" Blue says.

"Am I the only freaking out about the talking chipmunk?" the Critic replies, "Because that was pretty fucked up! Good god, where the hell am I?"

"The world of Filmcow, Critic." Pinkie reminds.

"Yeah... I think I'm just gonna go..." the Critic informs, turing around.

**"BE GOOOOOOONE!"** Joey orders, appearing out of nowhere.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" the Critic screams in a high pitch tone, running after the unicorns.

After a few minutes of walking, the three finally reach the end of the forest.

"Thank god we're out of there." the Critic says, "I'm sure we're not gonna come across anything weirder than that chipmunk." All of a sudden, they find a llama with a red hat on its head in front of them.

"Hello there." the Llama greets.

"Uh... hi." the Critic replies.

"My name is Paul." the Llana informs

"Hello, Paul." Blue greets.

"Yes, hello, Paul." Pinkie repeats, "Can you help us?"

"We're looking for our friend." Blue adds.

"Oh... well, what's he look like?" Paul questions.

"He's a unicorn." the Critic answers.

"Oh god, please tell me he wasn't around here!" Paul says.

"Not that we know of." the Critic informs.

"Oh thank god!" Paul replies.

"What's wrong?" Pinkie questions.

"Well... my friend was around here." Paul explains, "And he has a problem."

"What kind of problem?" the Critic questions.

"He kills people." Paul says bluntly. They all remain silent for a few seconds.

"What?" the Critic replies.

"My friend likes to kill people." Paul repeats. All of a sudden, another llama with a green hat, also covered in blood, walks over to the four.

"Hi." the other Llama greets.

"Please don't do anything horrific, Carl." Paul begs.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." the other Llama replies, "I'm just saying hello to your new friends."

"What are you covered in, Carl?" Paul questions.

"Would you believe it's strawberry filling?" Carl replies.

"No I would not." Paul replies.

"Cherry Kool-Aid?" Carl questions.

"No." Paul answers.

"A gift from Mother Nature?" Carl questions.

"Caaaarl!" Paul whines.

"It's the blood of a talking chipmunk I found in the forest." Carl admits, "I bit off his head."

"...Caaaaaaaarl!" Paul whines, "Why would you do that?"

"You killed Joey?" Blue questions in shock.

"I feel better knowing that that thing is dead." the Critic states.

"You know you have a wonderful face." Carl informs.

"Oh... well, thank you." the Critic replies, smiling.

"I think I'll eat it." Carl says, "With a side of cheese." The Critic pulls out his gun and points it at Carl.

"Back the fuck off!" the Critic warns.

"Was the swearing really called for?" Carl questions.

"Carl, just leave them alone." Paul say.

"You know, this isn't the first time a gun has been pointed at my face." Carl informs, "You think you can pull the trigger in time?"

"Oh, I know can!" the Critic states.

"Critic, have you forgotten that we must save Charlie?" Blue questions.

"Caaaaarl, they just wanna find their friend!" Paul says.

"He pulled a gun on me." Carl informs, "I believe I have a right to defend myself."

"You were making death threats, Carl!" Paul replies.

"I've never eaten a face before." Pinkie says.

"I wonder if it's tasty." Blue adds.

"Oh, it is." Carl informs. The Critic starts to back away towards the forest. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Carl says.

"Why?" the Critic questions.

"I laced the entire forest with explosives." Carl answers, "They're set to go off in three seconds."

"Caaaaaaaaaarl!" Paul whines. All of a sudden, the forest bursts into flames.

"Now's our chance, RUN!" the Critic orders. The three run past Carl and Paul.

"...Well, that was very rude of them." Carl says.

"This is why we can't have friends!" Paul states.

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**Please Review. Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The next chapter of The Great Charlie Rescue. Sorry it's taken so long.**

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The Critic and the two unicorns reach a large river.

"Great." the Critic sighs, "A dead end. Well, I guess there's nothing else we can do. Oh well, we tried. Now, if you could just send me back home..."

"Hey!" yells a familiar voice. The Critic and the unicorns look over to see a man on a boat heading their way. When the boat is closer, they could now seen that the man was Spoony.

"Yay, it's Spoonyone!" Pinkie cheers.

"Yes, Spoonyone!" Blue repeats.

"Spoony?" the Critic questions, a little shocked.

"Oh, hey, Critic!" Spoony greets, "What's up?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" the Critic replies.

"I come here every Monday." Spoony answers. The Critic was about to reply, but then a thought enters his head.

"But it's Friday." the Critic informs.

"And your point?" Spoony questions.

"Nevermind." the Critic replies.

"Spoonyone, we need your help!" Blue states.

"You can just call me Spoony." Spoony informs.

"Spoonyone, we need to get across the river!" Blue explains.

"You do know there's a bridge a few yards away from here?" Spoony replies, pointing to a bridge.

"How'd we miss that?" the Critic questions.

"Spoonyone, you must take us across the river!" Pinkie says.

"You guys, seriously, bridge, right there ." Spoony repeats, pointing again, "Take about a minute to get to."

"Yeah, guys." the Critic agrees, "Let's just take the bridge."

"Take us, Spoonyone!" Blue begs.

"Yes, take us!" Pinkie repeats, now both were floating in the air.

"Alright!" Spoony yells, "Forefucksake! I'll take you across! God, you're worse than those llamas I ran into."

"YAAAAAYYYYY!" both unicorns cheer, as they return to the ground. Spoony brings his boat to the bank and the three hope on it.

"Now you know how I feel." the Critic states.

"Right."Spoony replies, "Why are you with them anyway?"

"Saving Charlie the unicorn." the Critic explains.

"Ah, I see." Spoony says. As soon as the boat leaves the bank, they reach the other side in about five seconds. They all were silent for a second.

"You know, we could have just taken the bridge." Blue informs, as the three hope off the boat.

"Yeah, I don't know why the Critic wanted to take the boat." Pinkie adds. The Critic pulls out his gun, cocks it and points it at the back of Pinkie's head, ready to pull the trigger. It takes all his power to not shoot. The three soon walk away from the river.

"Later, Critic!" Spoony says, as his boat leaves the bank of the river.

"Can't believe I just ran into Spoony." the Critic mumbles, "I bet that Dr. Isano grew up here. That would explain why he's so insane. Run into Spoony. Pffff, what's next? I run into Linkara?" The Critic stops and looks around, but saw nothing. He then continues walking again. "Huh, I'm actually surprised that didn't happen." he says, "Everything else has happened in this fucked up world. Why wouldn't it happen?" Just then, a woman with brown hair with blue dyed in passes them by.

"Hey, Critic." the woman greets, as she continues on her ways.

"Oh, hey, Marzgirl." Critic replies, then turns his head back, "Marzgirl?" All of a sudden, the Critic walks into a large tree. "Aahh, dammit!" he yells.

"Hey, that usually costs money, honey." says a high pitch sounding voice. The Critic looks around for the source of the voice.

"Who said that?" the Critic questions.

"I did, silly." replies the voice. The Critic looks up at the tree to see that it was actually alive.

"Treebeard?" the Critic questions, "From Lord of the Rings?"

"No, silly." the tree giggles, "I'm his cousin, Treejob." The Critic's eyes open really wide.

"Treejob, we need your help!" Blue infroms.

"Yes, can you please take us to the Castle of Bad Things?" Pinkie questions.

"Now, why would you little things wanna go there?" Treejob replies, "I hear it's a horrible place where they don't use lube." The Critic doesn't try to say a single word.

"We're trying to save our friend." Blue informs.

"Oh, well, why didn't ya say so?" Treejob replies, "I'll take ya there!" Treejob then turn and around and lowers his back end to the ground. There was a large gap in it lower, backside, trunk. "Climb aboard!" The Unicorns jump into the gap and wait for the Critic, who was still frozen.

"Come on, Critic!" Pinkie says, "let's go!" The Critic slowly moves over to the gap and climbs in.

"We never speak of this again." the Critic states, in a more firmer tone.

"Hold on tight, little ones!" Treejob says, "That's funny. I was saying the same thing to David last night. Oooh, I'm bad!" The Critic was now frozen again. Treejob then begins to walk through the forest.

"Critic, do you wanna play ISpy?" Pinkie questions.

"No." the Critic answers without missing a beat.

"I do!" Blue replies.

"I spy with my little eye..." Pinkie begins. The Critic points his gun under Pinkie's chin.

"Shut... the fuck... up!" the Critic orders. A few minutes later, they come to a stop.

"Okay, little guys, we're here!" Treejob informs.

"Oh, thank god!" the Critic sighs. The three hope out of the gap, then look up to see a tall dark caste.

"Thank you very much for the ride, Treejob!" Blue says.

"Yes, thank you!" Pinkie repeats.

"Oh, it was no trouble, babies." Treejob replies, "Give me a call in the future, okay?" Treejob then walks back into the forest.

"God, I think I got sap on my hand!" the Critic states.

"That isn't sap!" yells Treejob from the forest. The Critic is silent again.

"Okay!" the Critic yells to get the unicorns' attention, "We go in! We find Charlie! We get out! Understand?"

"Could you repeat that last part?" Pinkie questions.

"Fuck it!" the Critic yells, "Let's just go!"

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please Review. Thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The final chapter of The Great Charlie Rescue.**

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The Critic and the two unicorns walk through the Castle of Bad Things, the Critic looking around in confusion.

"Huh... you know, I kind of expected something... bad." the Critic informs, "But it doesn't look so bad. A little dark, but not bad."

"It's terrible!" Blue states.

"So frightening!" Pinkie adds.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Blue screams.

"DIIIIIEEE!" Pinkie repeats. The Critic stares at them.

"...Why does all this fucked up shit happen to me?" the Critic questions, "I mean... I'm not a bad person, right?"

"You have sinned against the Church." Pinkie states.

"What?" the Critic replies.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Blue screams.

"WHAT?" the Critic yells, shocked, "WHAT IS IT?"

"SEAHORSES!" Pinkie screams. It's revealed that a flock of seahorses are hovering over head. The Critic just stares, confused.

"...HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?" the Critic yells, "SERIOUSLY! I've seen talking killer llamas, demonic chipmunks, SPOONY, but THIS! THIS is just pure fuckery! ...That's it! I'm not accepting this reality anymore!" The two unicorns stare at him, Pinkie about to say something. "No, don't try to convince me, I'm done!" the Critic states, "I'm no longer accepting it!" Both unicorns continue to stare, remaining silent. Blue tries to say something next. "No, forget it!" the Critic says, "It's done!" Everyone was silent again.

"...You have problems." Pinkie states.

A few minutes later, the three continue walking through the castle.

"Critic, look!" Blue says, surprised.

"Not accepting this reality!" the Critic replies.

"No, look, it's Charlie!" Pinkie informs, excitedly pointing at a white unicorn, sitting in front of a TV.

"Oh hey!" the Critic says, happily, as they make their way over to him.

"Oh god, not you two again!" Charlie yells, irritated.

"Charlie we've come to save you!" Blue informs.

"I don't need saving!" Charlies states.

"WHAT?" the Critic screams, "THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T NEED SAVING?"

"I was never in danger!" Charlies answers, "I came here to get away from those two! All they ever do is take me on some crazy adventure and steal my organs!"

"...Wait, steal your what?" the Critic questions, concerned.

"This was the only place I thought they wouldn't look." Charlie informs, "I don't really know why everyone makes a big deal about it. Sure it's a little dark, and those seahorses are pretty screwed up, but all they do is float around and bump into each other." The group looks up to see the seahorses, slowly floating around, and two bump into each other.

"Huh... well, that's not so bad" the Critic says.

"Charlie, you're in danger!" Blue states.

"Danger!" Pinkie repeats.

"No, I'm not, you freaks!" Charlie yells, angry, "I'm perfectly fine here! Now, go away!"

"THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?" Pinkie screams, pointing at Barack Obama. Everyone looks with wide eyes.

"...I swear, I've never seen that guy before!" Charlies states, confused and a bit shocked. All of a sudden, Obama reaches back behind his neck and pulls a zipper up and down the middle of his body, causing the Obama skin and suit to fall off.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S..." Blue yells.

"...A panda?" the Critic questions, confused, as it is revealed that a panda was inside of the Obama costume. The panda pulls out a monocle and places it over it's eye, and places a pipe in his mouth.

"Good evening." the panda says, in a manly Scottish accent. The group stares at the panda.

"...Does everything in this fucked up world of technic colored horses have to talk?" the Critic yells.

"You'd think after awhile you'd get used to it... but you're so very wrong." Charlie says, then looks at the panda, "And who the hell are you?"

"I have many namesh." the panda replies, as he puffs his pipe, "But mosht prefer to addressh me ash... Margret."

"Of course, Margret: the Traitorous Panda!" Pinkie says.

"The shame." Margret replies.

"Okay, does anyone want to explain what the hell's going on?" Charlies questions.

"It'sh quite shimple." Margret says, "It sheems you've dishcovered my diabolical plan to take over the univershe... WITH MY ARMY OF SHEAHORSHESH!"

"OH NOOOOOO!" Pinkie screams.

"NOOOOOO!" Blue screams as well.

"Yesh!" Margret replies, "And I knew that you three would try to shtop me. Therefore, I kidnapped your friend, Charlesh, and ushed him ash bait to draw you into your own demishe."

"You didn't kidnap me, I came here myself!" Charlie yells, angry, "And seriously, those seahorses must be brain dead!" Everyone looks at the seahorses again, as they continue to slowly hover above.

"You shee?" Margret says, "They're shtriking fear into your heartsh!"

"THE HORROR!" Blue screams

"NOOOOO!" Pinkie cries.

"THEY'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING!" the Critic yells.

"YESH, COWER IN FEAR!" Margret laughs.

"Fuck it, I'm out!" the Critic replies, turning to walk away. All of a sudden, a liopleurodon bursts through the wall of the castle, with a kitten wearing a fedora riding it.

"MEOW MEOW MEEEOOOWW!" the kitten meows at Margret.

"NOOOO, DETECTIVE MITTENSH!" Margret yells.

"THE MAGICAL LIOPLEURODON!" Blue cheers.

"HURRAY, WE'RE SAVED!" Pinkie adds.

"WHY?" the Critic screams, "WHY? WHY? WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?" The liopleurodon shoots a beam of energy out of it mouth at Margret.

"NOOOO, DEATH, MY ONLY WEAKNESSH!" Margret screams, as he vanish in the beam.

"THANK YOU, MAGICAL LIOPLEURODON!" Pinkie cheers.

"Yes, thank you!" Blue repeats, "And thank you, Critic, for your help with saving Charlie!"

"I was never in danger!" Charlies states. Pinkie pulls out a remote.

"Now, you can go home!" Pinkie informs, "Goodbye, Nostalgia Critic!"

"Yes, goodbye, Critic." Blue adds, as Pinkie presses the button on the remote. The Critic disappears in a flash of light, then reappears in his own universe again, his face still full of shock and confusion.

An hour later, Rob is walking through the home of the Nostalgia Critic, then comes to his door.

"Hey, Critic, did you know MLP FiM's on Net-" Rob tries to ask, only to find the Critic hanging in his review room, "...Huh... guess that movie was worse than I thought."

**The End**

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**Hope you enjoyed reading this tale randomness. And I hope it gave you a few cheap laughs. Please Review. Thanks.**


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